Marriage counseling, couples therapy, and relationship counseling are generally considered to be interchangeable terms. This type of counseling is available for:

	Married Couples
	Engaged couples who want pre-marital counseling
	Unmarried Couples
	Individuals who want relationship counseling

Marriage counseling has been studied scientifically, and is proven to be effective in helping couples to achieve healthier, happier, and more loving relationships (Psychotherapy Networker, September/October, 2006). I believe that we co-create our relationships . That is, both partners are responsible for creating the emotional atmosphere and patterns of behavior in the relationship. Relationship counseling can help couples to create new patterns, and a new emotional climate of love and compassion.

(The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman and Nan Silver, 1999).

There are many reasons why couples seek counseling for their relationships, and these are among the most common problems:

	Fighting, and chronic, unresolved conflict
	A pattern of attack-defend-counterattack and blame
	Distance, emotionally and physically (“emotional divorce”)
	Negativity (complaints, criticism, sarcasm, disrespect)
	Poor communication
	Affairs (also flirting, online relationships, and emotional affairs)
	Excessive anger (including abuse, violent acts, and threats)
	Controlling behavior and power struggles
	Substance abuse and chemical dependency

Marriage and couples counseling include the following components:

1. Assessment and plan – Preferably done with both partners present. Each person may also be seen individually to get more history and background information. One or two sessions to review the problem(s) and to agree to the goals and plan for therapy.
2. Discussion – Talking about the problems with the goal of deeper understanding and sensitivity to each other’s feelings. Learning to listen without judgment. Working toward compassion and empathy in the relationship.
3. Relationship skill building – Learning how to use the scientifically proven tools that result in successful relationships. These tools can be explained, demonstrated and practiced during the sessions.
4. Problem solving – Resolving conflicts when possible by using the tools described above. Learning how to manage conflicts that cannot be resolved.
5. Core issues – Identify, clarify, and support the underlying emotional issues. The (generally childhood-based) experiences, beliefs, feelings, and patterns of behavior which often show up today in disguise. That is, our childhood injuries, unresolved conflicts, attachment needs, and fears tend to reveal themselves in current relationship conflicts and problems. The ultimate goal here is for couples to understand each other, have compassion for the underlying needs and fears, and to support each other with empathy and partnership.
6. Homework – A variety of exercises may be used at home to practice using the tools learned during sessions.
7. Follow-up sessions – Following completion of the goals of counseling, couples often return for “check-ups” (for example, on a monthly or bi-monthly basis).

These areas may be covered out of sequence, and some will be emphasized more than others, depending on the needs of the specific couple. Each couple is different, and the number of counseling sessions is determined by each unique couple.

To make an appointment, call Richard Loebl, LCSW at 561-955-6090, or send him an email at Richard@RelationshipCenterofSouthFlorida.com.